Workshop Guidelines

Everyone has different comfort levels, so these guidelines are to give you a clear picture of what the workshop will include, what will be off-limits, and how we’ll discuss sexy scenes and erotica. And no, you won’t be sharing your writing!

Will include:

• Explicit examples from both published erotica and mainstream novels
• Very explicit language (including terms deemed offensive in other contexts)
• Written depictions of gay, lesbian, queer, and straight sex
• A lot of laughter and fun!

Off-limits

To keep everyone comfortable, some topics and kinks which are explored in both erotica and mainstream fiction will be off-limits for the workshop, in both the examples and discussions. These are:

• Any kind of non-consent, including “consensual non-consent” play, “reluctant ravishment” tropes, power-dynamic coercion (eg doctor-patient, teacher-student, etc – definitely not teacher-student! 😂)
• Any family terms, including as terms of endearment
• Any reference to minors, including play-acting
• BDSM
• Fetishes and kinks generally

You can write whatever you fancy, but these topics are off-limits in the discussions, and in the examples I give you.

If there’s anything you’d like me to add to this list, please let me know.

In-workshop boundaries

Writing, Not Us

We’ll discuss published examples and characters, not ourselves and our own sexual preferences, experiences, or responses. For example:

✔️ She finds his dangerousness part of his sexual attraction.
✔️ A character's dangerousness can be part of their sexual attraction.
❌ I find it sexy when someone’s dangerous.

✔️ The character had a threesome.
✔️ I'm writing about a threesome.
❌ I’ve had a threesome.

✔️ That’s very sexy writing.
❌ That’s really turning me on.

If in doubt, imagine a discussion between crime writers:

✔️ Poison’s a great way for a character to kill somebody discreetly.
❌ When I kill people, I like to use poison.

Identity, Not Kinks

It’s fine to name your own sexual identity and relationship structure (eg I’m gay / bi / pan, I’m poly, etc) but not your kinks (eg I’m Dom, etc). Don’t ask other people their identity or relationship structure: that’s for them to volunteer if they want.

Not Sharing Writing

We’ll be discussing words, approaches, published examples that I provide, etc, in class. You won’t be sharing your own writing.

Let the fun begin!

With lovely clear guidelines and boundaries, we can all have a super time, knowing we'll be comfortable and we'll be keeping each other comfortable. So we can all relax into the fun of discovering how to write "the naughty bits"! Jump back to where you left off in the workshop page.

Back to the Sexy Scenes workshop page